On Knowing What is Best and Who is Better
By Daniel Eccles
The words are spoken so assuredly by the content marketing specialist who is repeating them to me through her podcast: “Only you can know what is best for you.”
But the words ring hollow.
I’m advised that anything she says should be filtered and judged with my discernment. Only I know what is best for my podcast, my business, and my investments. She is not liable if I start utilizing her investment strategies for myself. Because, after all, she “knew” what was best for her own business.
This isn’t the first time I have heard these words. Especially since I have become a parent. There is no shortage of opinions on bringing a baby into the world. But ultimately, after being told what to do, the phrase would be repeated: I must choose what is best for my family because only I can know what is best for my family.
This phrase feels wrong. I was just told twenty recommendations for how I can grow my Instagram following by a social media specialist, but just in case that does not work, “just try to do what you know is best–somewhere deep inside of you.”
Do I listen to this expert or not?
I had yet to meet my daughter, but because she shared half of my genes, I could rest assured that I would know what is best for her. Right?
Says who? Under whose authority? My own? So, I can know that I know best because I know best? Really?
As a good Midwesterner, I say, “Yeah, no.” I cannot trust myself. I’m too good of a manipulator. I see this when my practice of the weekly Sabbath should be starting:
It is Saturday night, and my wife and I have agreed on the rules long before this moment. The Sabbath is more important than the next episode of Top Chef. But now, after we have cleaned and prepared the whole house for rest, all we want to do is watch Top Chef. Just in case you are wondering, we are on Season 13.
Nine times out of ten, I choose Top Chef. And since I know what is best, it would be such a shame to deny myself this pleasure.
Likewise, during the week, we agree not to eat dessert. Cake is for Sundays.
Sweet things should be intentional; when we wait, we enjoy them and glorify God in the Godiva.
But something went wrong today. Our daughter’s new nap schedule did not work out like we had planned. I made an “oopsie” with a client at work. The last episode of my podcast, The Opportunity Collective, had less than 20 listens. And the hits kept on coming.
I knew best how to fix it, too. It’s called ice cream!
Do you see what I mean? How silly the advice of well-meaning personal brand influencers and seasoned parents can be! I don't know what is best. In fact, I choose the cheapest form of grace (with a lowercase “g”) that I can find on a daily basis.
Remembering and keeping a regular Sabbath schedule shows me why I don’t know what is best anymore. For almost thirty years, I have denied the Commandment of the Sabbath as if the world worked in a way opposite to its design by our Creator.
I believed I knew best for myself when I strived and hustled. When I longed for something to satisfy me other than the instructions that had been there all along, I fell flat on my face. Before resting and setting limits on my consumption, I would feel burnout until I could go on a trip. Then, the vacation carried so much pressure that it would never live up to my expectations because I had collected my burdens all year long and piled them on a singular week to save me.
But now that I deny what I used to think of as “the best” and have opted to sit at the feet of Jesus, I see I have “chosen the better thing,” and it won’t be taken away from me.
I cannot do without Sabbath in my week. But if I were left to my own devices, I would be on Top Chef Season 20–and as overcooked as the chef’s lamb chops.
The way back to myself has been forged through not trusting that I know WHAT is best but in trusting WHO is best. When I trusted myself to know best, I was unsatisfied. When I trust all things were made by, for, and through Christ and live as Christ instructed, I know contentment.
It is through this humble denial of ourselves, we can learn that we are not the god of our lives, which is the Good News of The Gospel. And it’s great news for mankind.
***
“…Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
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DANIEL ECCLES
Daniel Eccles is the founder and podcast host of The Opportunity Collective, a network of emerging leaders who are creating opportunities. He is a Certified Career Counselor who assists people in making their plan "A" (the life they want to live) a reality. Daniel lives in Indianapolis, Indiana, with his wife Gwendolyn and daughter Autumn Joy. You will find him at Rivet Coffee for prayer group and waffles every Saturday morning.