On Watching the Desert Bloom
By Hayley Rawnsley
Something about the wilderness always captured my gaze. The sprawling plants and towering trees called to me. They spoke of new paths and adventure, of deep mysteries and exploration.
The same feeling of excitement washed over me whenever I thought about my faith journey. A fresh passion for Jesus stirred in me while in college. As I neared graduation, anticipation was steadily building for what God had in store. I imagined the opportunities that awaited me and the ways I could use my talents and skills to renew the world.
I thought this was the start to the kind of wilderness adventure I dreamed of.
I soon found out this moment of awakening was indeed the prelude to a journey, but not the one I envisioned. As is often the case, God had other plans. Weeks before walking the stage, everything changed: classes moved online, my university became a ghost town, and the city around me vibrated with fear.
Deep sadness and disappointment sunk in as I watched the garden of my life that I’d worked hard to cultivate quickly wither. Everything I knew was shaken up, and it left me disoriented in a dry, barren landscape. Even the faith I thought I’d held so strongly seemed to evaporate.
I’d unknowingly entered a wilderness season—a time of transition and transformation. It’s to this unexpected (and uncomfortable) place that Jesus guides each of his followers. Not to torture or tempt, but to strengthen and grow.
Until this moment, I knew little about the wilderness. It was never highlighted as an integral part of the faith journey. If anything, it seemed to be the marker that I’d made a wrong turn and strayed from God’s will. In a world that values constant upward trajectory, coming to a standstill often appears to be a sign of failure. And when everything’s going well, it’s easy to forget the path of Job, David, Isaiah, the Israelites, and even Jesus involved walking through the wilderness at one point.
What I’ve come to realize is that the wilderness is the path forward, not a detour. As I chose to embrace this season, I soon discovered its hidden beauty:
A deeper intimacy intertwined with greater dependence.
A still small voice heard clearly in the quiet.
A heart and mind renewed in Jesus’s presence.
One day, Jesus showed me a vision of a desert blooming with flowers. He whispered, “I’m restoring lost hopes and broken dreams.” At that moment, I started to truly believe that beauty could grow in the wilderness. Even if I was in this slow, stretching season for a while—which I would be—new life existed in the here and now.
Looking around, there wasn’t much changing externally, yet I was gradually being transformed from the inside out. The wilderness invited me to release the old things and make space for God to plant seeds in my heart. New hopes and dreams, thoughts and beliefs, identities and patterns. The more time I spent in Jesus’s presence–letting his love heal wounds and truth dispel lies–the freer I felt. And it became clear that he was preparing me for something new.
As I let go of what I envisioned for myself post-grad, God reestablished my identity as his daughter and as an artist. He revealed the gifts he’s given me and started to show me how to use them for his glory. Though he didn’t offer a roadmap, he taught me to rely on his Spirit for gentle nudges and words of wisdom to lead me forward.
Like so many beautiful mysteries of the faith, it’s often in the most lifeless moments that we witness the desert blooming. It’s where our faith grows as we wait on God to make the path which didn’t exist before. Through the suffering that leads to surrender, we create room for more of his Spirit of transformation and power in our lives.
The kind of renewal we long to see in our lives starts with allowing God to renew us. Before we can jump into the exciting work that comes with being like Jesus in this world, we need to learn and prepare. Rarely is this an easy, painless process, and when you’re in the thick of it, sometimes all you can focus on is the dusty ground in front of you.
But if you lift your gaze to Jesus, you may just see there’s beauty even here in the wilderness.
“The desert and the parched land will be glad;
the wilderness will rejoice and blossom.”
Isaiah 35:1
HAYLEY RAWNSLEY
Hayley Rawnsley is an artist and writer who loves to express the beauty in the highs and lows of the faith journey. After studying advertising and graphic design at Chapman University, she created Hidden Pearl Design, where she helps purpose-driven businesses build meaningful brands. When she’s not working on brand design projects, Hayley paints gouache and acrylic landscape paintings. What began as a way to be creative offline grew into a unique medium to connect art with faith. Through her paintings and blog, she seeks to encourage people in whatever season of life they’re in. To explore Hayley Rawnsley’s art and writings, follow her on Instagram and visit Desert’s Blooming.